Fun Run?

My life is littered with projects I have started and never really finished. I first started this blog (nearly 2 years ago) in a bid to motivate me to finish something. Because if I’ve blogged about it and committed it to cyber-space then I’ll have to finish it, right? Wrong. I haven’t even written my blog for such a shameful while that even writing a blog didn’t make me write a blog.

However, there is one thing I have kept up with. One thing that, quite frankly, if you asked me to name the one thing I wouldn’t continue on with would be at the top of my list. And that thing is exercising. Whilst writing my blog (I have been writing other things, honest) and the host of other things I was going to do have fallen by the wayside keeping fit and healthy has been something I’ve focused on and kept up. I’m not sure why either. I suppose it’s because I feel better for it and have had to buy a whole new wardrobe too. Oh, shopping. That’s something else I’ve kept up too.

My new-found love of exercise has led me to enter a Charity Colour Fun Run  in September. For those of you who don’t know, a Colour Fun Run is where you run and people throw paint at you. I’m hoping it’s powder-paint, although I’m not entirely sure. My reasons for doing this were (1) It’s for a local hospice which cared for two of my relatives in their last weeks of their lives; (2) I’ve always wanted to go to the Hindu Festival of Holi and this would probably be the closest I would get to it. Holi with pain, that’s what I’ve signed up to.

And pain is the appropriate word. You see, I’m not a runner. I’m a walker. A fast walker, I’ll have you know, but a walker none the less. And, in my head, there really couldn’t be much of a step-up from walking fast to running. Foolish woman! But, despite being able to walk or dance the Fun Run, I’d decided I wanted to run it. So I trained and I pushed myself a little more each day. It was hard work and I sweated buckets but, gradually, little by little, I could run further and further.

This is when I realised how marvellous the human body is. How, when you set your mind to it you can set yourself to achieve anything. I felt great. I felt fantastic. I felt pain – ouch. I chose to ignore the pain and run through it. It was just a question of mind over matter. I could do this. I would do this. I would…

That’s when I realised that whilst I was marvelling at the human body and ignoring the pain I was also ignoring the fact that the pain wasn’t from just training and, actually, was pain from an existing injury and problem. It didn’t matter how much I wanted to run through it, my body wasn’t going to let me and, if I wasn’t careful, I’d end up not being able to walk the Colour Fun Run let alone run it.

At first, I cursed my body for not being as marvellous as I thought. I had set my heart on running and was terribly disappointed that I couldn’t. I felt like I’d let myself down. I was angry I couldn’t do what I wanted. Then I realised that the human body is a marvellous thing. I was pushing myself too hard and, in the long-run, if I wasn’t careful, carrying on that way would just end up with me being bed-ridden for a week or so.  My body was telling me this and I should have been listening to it, even if I didn’t like what it was telling me.

Wishes

Be careful what you wish for. It’s easy to wish. It’s easy to long and want and imagine. It’s easy to loose yourself in daydreams and believe wishes will make everything alright. It’s easy to believe you really want something. That you have to have it more than anything else in the world and that, by having it, you’ll be complete. Your skin will stop itching, your head will be quiet and your soul will stop aching. It’s easy to believe your wish will make you happy and that you’ll never be lonely again.

It’s easy to believe this when the wish isn’t yours. When it belongs to someone else and is so far out of reach to be impossible. When the longing is just longing and the wanting is just wanting. It’s easy to believe the wish will change your life if only you can grab it, pull it to your chest, hold it tight and never let it go.

The old woman pulled her cape tight to her body. “Are you sure this is what you want?” she asked as she peered down into the face of a young woman. The face was filled with longing and want. The young woman’s eyes were brimming with hope and expectation. Her mouth was set firmly with realisation of the seemingly impossible as her head nodded excitedly up and down.

“Are you sure?” the old woman asked again, though why she asked she didn’t know. It was clear to her what the answer would be. That she was wasting her breath and her time with this one. The young woman nodded again as the old woman knew she would. The old woman reached deep into the folds of her cape. She sighed as she pulled out her wand and said, “Well then, you better go and fetch me a pumpkin.”